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Jackie’s Kitchen Sucks

Shop 300 / 619 Doncaster Rd, Doncaster VICTORIA
(03) 9855 8367

20060323JackiesKitchen

Ok. I’m a huge Jackie Chan fan. Sue me. But despite my love of all things “Jackie Chan”, his new restaurant at Doncaster Shopping Town SUCKS. Which really does sadden me. Has “Chan the Man” sold out?

The ONLY thing I liked about Jackie’s Kitchen is that they put ice in the water and the jasmine tea tasted rather nice. Other than that, it’s sucks. The food isn’t anything special, and the service doesn’t rate that much higher.

The restaurant itself is sterile. Not much thought was given to changing the previous franchise’s decor (ahem…Smorgy’s). New tables and chairs were the extent of the renovation. The paintwork was scratchy, and the veneer was peeling off some of the furniture, and pukey apricot tablecloths should be outlawed in food venues. Period.

We were seated in a rather nonchalant offhand manner, and it took the wait staff around 15 minutes to take our order. No, they were not lacking in numbers - we could see about six of them milling around in the far reaches. Also, trying to crack a smile out of them was near impossible.

We opted for the banquet, which is usually a good (and cheap) way of sampling a variety of dishes, especially as the standard price for a main menu item ranged anywhere from $18 to $30 (not cheap by Melbourne standards). We ended up paying $24 per person for the following crappola:

  • Spring Roll - yeah, must admit they didn’t taste too bad. But it wasn’t anything you couldn’t get at any cheap take-away joint.
  • Dumpling Sampler - why give a two banquet party five dumplings? Do we fight over the fifth dim sim? That really wasn’t an issue here as the dumplings were as tough as golf balls. Secondly, who the heck serves dumplings without any condiments? Not so much as a soy or sweet chilli sauce. The waiter disappeared so quickly I had to get up and help myself to the soy sauce from a couple of tables away.
  • Lame-arsed Peking Duck - some type of shredded poultry substance generously (and I repeat GENEROUSLY) slathered in hoisin sauce. The meat was miserly and the crepe tough.
  • Crab / Sweet Corn Soup - should be renamed gluggy cornflour and no salt soup.
  • Braised Prawns & Veg - The broccoli was really good. Uh huh. I really loved the broccoli.
  • Lemon Chicken - Okay, this one wasn’t too bad. Where can you go wrong with battered and deepfried chicken breast? In this case, it was the sauce. It was glow in the dark bile yellow. Hmm.
  • Fried rice - greasy greasy greasy.
  • Fresh fruit - I take umbrage to the word “fresh”. Four slices of floury watermelon and half an orange.
20060323JackiesKitchenMeal

I must admit I expected a lot more from this place. I had internet searched Jackie’s Kitchen USA, and it looked promising. Healthy asian salad options. Interesting claypots etc. Unfortunately I feel the following way about the Melbourne version :

20060323JackiesKitchenBlah

It sucked.

35 Responses to “Jackie’s Kitchen Sucks”

  1. 1
    Anonymous:

    great final photo. sums up the whole experience beautifully. here’s hoping Jackie Chan’s little enterprise doesn’t spread!

  2. 2
    Anonymous:

    You’re sticking the wrong finger up!

  3. 3
    Anonymous:

    i can’t imagine how you could be talking about the same restaurant i just went to recently & had a fantastic time… there isnt a single comment of yours that matches the experience i had there.

  4. 4
    food lover:

    yep if they don’t get there act together they will be gone my Christmas.

  5. 5
    mellie:

    Hi anonymous #3,

    When did you eat at Jackie’s Kitchen? When it first opened there was *LOTS* of people there. But its popularity has declined since then. I would be interested to hear what you had and your impressions of the food. How did you rate the service? Perhaps I was there on an “off” day. But nothing seemed to impress me (except for the iced water and tea! ;-)).

  6. 6
    Anonymous:

    I was there on Sunday at 11am for Yum Cha, and the place was packed. Food was good, but nothing to write home about. The staff were friendly, the service was prompt… it’s not the Flower Drum, but it is a lot better than you have portrayed it. Perhaps you were in a bad mood that day?

  7. 7
    mellie:

    Nope, I wasn’t in a bad mood at all. And my friend also felt the same way. And one of his friends had gone earlier in the week and said it sucked as well.

    But I take on your comments. Perhaps Yum Cha is their main attraction, and they have suitable staffing levels to accomodate the larger volume of people.

    I just really felt they failed abysmally on service, and poorly on food.

    But that is just my opinion. You are completely free to express your own (as you have done).

    Perhaps I’ll try Yum Cha and repost my impressions.

  8. 8
    Anonymous:

    crap review, it was real real crapola

  9. 9
    mellie:

    Hi there latest anonymous person. What makes my review crap? Is it because it was unufavourable? Or are you an offended Jackie Chan fan? Or have you been to the restaurant and care to voice your opinion?

  10. 10
    Anonymous:

    I have to agree with Anonomous #3. I have been there on several occasions and had a VERY PLEASANT experience. The Food and Service was EXCELLENT. (I’m not a Jackie Chan Fan) Your review seem to be VERY subjective - maybe your name ()Apprentice) has something to do with it.

  11. 11
    Anonymous:

    I was there for lunch yesterday, I am very much a yum cha fan and tend to visit most of the chinese restaurants around the eastern suburbs. I tend to agree with the comments made the food was extreamly less than passable yesterday, and not to mention the staffing. I left hungry and in fact had to wonder down to the food court afterwards to get a hamburger. A real shame not the first time I have been there and also not the first time I have been disappointed. Back to the Golden Pebble in Wantirna for me where I know the food is consistanly good if not excellent. Ponder this thought if Jackie Chan was here would he eat at his own restaurant ???????????

  12. 12
    Anonymous:

    Don’t rub Jackie’s Kitchen in mud. It is not Jackie who is running it but the people who bought the franchise !!!!!!!!!

    Food is expensive but nice, I find service was okay. Only thing that is dull was the atmosphere and the restaurant decor……

    [Had dinner a week after it opened]

  13. 13
    Anonymous:

    Jackie’s kitchen. What can I say?

    It’s not 5 star cuisine or service but it’s certainly something different. It can easily match Taipan on Blackburn Rd(Doncaster), Shark Finn(Burwood Hwy) or Plume(Doncaster) on fine dining. I would come back anytime !!!!

  14. 14
    Anonymous:

    Jackie Kitchen (*****)

  15. 15
    mellie:

    Wow, this blog entry sure has elicited a fair amount of comment (favourable and otherwise). Anonymous Person #6, there is no need to be rude now, ok? And when is a review non-subjective? Reviews are pretty much the telling of an experience. It is and always will be subjective.

    Now I wish to draw your attention to an article written by Rita Erlich, a critic who has been reviweing restaurants for over 30 years. This article appeared in The Age Newspaper on 23 May 2006, titled Crimes of Gastronomy.

    The two main gripes I had with Jackie’s Kitchen were the lacklustre food and the less than ordinary staff. In reference to this and the above article, Jackie’s Kitchen has committed the following crimes:
    1. “…even good restaurants will often have one ordinary dish. One is manageable. It’s when nothing is exciting, nothing really pleasing, nothing worth sending back, nothing to engage the senses, that I mind.”
    2.”…there are too many opportunities for being invisible. The first is at the door, when diners enter a restaurant and wait for someone to see them/acknowledge them/talk to them. The second is to be at the table that no waiter sees.”

    Guilty on both cases!

    Anyway, I’m not trying to mud sling Jackie Chan. But I stand by my experience. And I was quite specific in why it didn’t come up to par. I wasn’t unfair. I do know the difference between good and bad front of house. And I admit, the food was edible, I did actually eat it (how else would I write a review?). But edible and enjoyable are two different concepts entirely.

  16. 16
    Anonymous:

    I reckon the food was delicious and whoever said it sucks you guys all have no interest in asian food.

  17. 17
    Anonymous:

    Wow - you guys are swinging hard left, right and centre! I just did a search on Jackies Kitchen to get their phone number so i could book a birthday dinner - and all this has left me confused? What to do? stick with well established such as Tai Pan, Shark Finn and Co - or risk it and either be bitterly dissappointed or pleasantly surprised?!
    Help!

  18. 18
    mellie:

    Anon - I guess just book it and see. It seems opinion is quite divided on this one. And opinion is almost always subjective anyway. So, if you do end up going…be sure to leave your impressions here!

  19. 19
    Anonymous:

    Hi guys i dont know why you guys even argue whats the point??? Its Jackies restaurent but its not like his the one in melbourne being the manager an doing his business how could yuou compare USA an Melbourne totally different people working there an the boss is not even hear once a year come on guys

  20. 20
    Jumi20:

    My Fiance and I went to Jackies Kichen a few months ago, and had the same banquet as Mellie and thought the food was great but the service a bit lacking (as we were in an unseen area). We have encouraged other people to go just for the food. But I always have my doubts as many restaurant experiences vary, one time its great the next its crap, in regards to food quality. I find this annoying, but hey what ya gonna do!!!!

  21. 21
    Anonymous:

    jakies kitchen is awesome, i loved the peaking duck and the calamari was to die for.

  22. 22
    Anonymous:

    I think when they first started, the service I heard was very BAD. This is quite common for a new & big restaurant. So I went there after a couple of months later, surprisingly, the food and service are up to my expectation. I would say it’s a nice place as it is more spacious for yum cha. Most of the chinese restaurant are very very packed especially during yum cha. I quite like the place =)

  23. 23
    mellie:

    Hi there Jumi20 - uh huh, continuity can sometimes be a problem in restuarants. And you usually won’t suffer this in good place.

    And hi latest anons - looks like the food is perhaps improving. Perhaps I should go back for a reprise of my review.

  24. 24
    Anonymous:

    I see there is a new Jackie’s in Melbourne CBD, corner of Queen & La Trobe. We looked at the menu from the street - seemed quite expensive and not much variety. We were skeptical to try it. We were given a takeaway menu from friendly staff, and found this website on the back - http://www.jkkorea.co.kr - that made me even more skeptical that it was even a genuine Jackie’s, as Koreans often try to rip off other’s food styles. ie, never ever eat shushi prepared by Koreans. It will never, ever be the same as that made by Japanese.
    Anyway, I really don’t want to fork out a lot of money for bad food. There are way too many good restaurant s in Melbourne that we shouldn’t waste our money on bad food.

  25. 25
    Anonymous:

    Also, I have found the following to be true of Chinese restaurants:
    If it is big, and flash, with a nice abience and good service, the food is generally crap.
    If the place is kinda dungie with not much atmosphere, and bad service, the food is excellent.
    I can’t explain it, but that has generally been my experience. A1 on Russel St is a bit like that - service is average, but food, bloody excellent.

  26. 26
    Anonymous:

    Just logging on to get the phone number of jackie’s as went there this week for lunch…it was yum…and am taking interstate guests there saturday. have travelled extensively in asia and eaten my way around the world…tablecloth yuk, agreed, but food most acceptable for price; pleasant enough service…tried same deal in hong kong, singapore? this is on a par…a simple family scene and food. love it here..

  27. 27
    Anonymous:

    I think you are absolutely correct Mellie. The food is so so and the service is to match. We had yum cha there once and found it so oily and tasteless. The second time round, I had no appetite and passed on the fried tasteless squid which the others also complained about. Definately not comparable to Shark Fin Inn or Tai Pan. Will be heading off to Golden Pebble this afternoon.

  28. 28
    Anonymous:

    I have been there for dinner before and I must agree with mellie on most of the points raised. But, I have been there for Yum Cha and it’s always been good!

    Though nothing beats Shark Fin and West Lake restaurants in the city for Yum Cha though.

  29. 29
    Anonymous:

    You have it ALL wrong, I just had an EXCELLENT experience. You are just being overly dramatic.

  30. 30
    Anonymous:

    I have been to Jackie’s in the city many times in the last few months for yum cha and it is excellent. The service is fantastic and the food on par with other yum cha in the area. You can order from a menu so no waiting for a trolley. The deep fried squid and prawn dumplings awesome! I have only had the yum cha but the prices were very reasonable with lunch being around $30 for 2 people…

  31. 31
    history:

    To the Anonymous (12:32 PM, October 17, 2006)
    For your information, Korea has Kimbab which is equivalent to a Japanese made sushi except its different in presentation and taste. If you look at the history of sushi, it started long after Kimbab. So can you actually say who’s ripping who?
    And if you look around carefully at the place where you buy “Japanese-made sushi”, the establishments are usually owned and operated by chinese. Chinese-made sushi?!! Thai restaurants runned by Indians, Korean restaurants by Japanese, French restaurants by English, Italian Restaurants by an American..blah blah..it goes on. Its the modern times. Just enjoy the vast variety of food.

  32. 32
    Anonymous:

    Sorry to hear about your bad experience. Jackie Chan’s Kitchen in Honolulu Hawaii does NOT sound any thing like this, nor did it suck either. I guess your bad experience should be blamed on the chef’s cooking the food. They probably did not know the recipes b/c Jackie Chan’s Kitchen in Hawaii….the food was awesome!

  33. 33
    Anonymous:

    PLZ, you should not try westen food in a Chinese restaurant!!! THANKS VERY MUCH!!!look what you have ordered!!! Its sucks.

  34. 34
    tong:

    It wqs so bad they had to pull down the place.

  35. 35
    mellie:

    Hey tong…yeah, I drove past the other day and noticed it had vanished. What a shame ;-)

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