The Embassy Taxi Cafe is one of those places heralded as “the” spot in Melbourne to get a great burger. Operating 24 hours a day since 1962, the cafe has been feeding tired, hungry cabbies (and tired, hungry nightclubbers) in a setting somewhat akin to an old school fish and chip shop circa 1970. Linoleum flooring, vinyl seating, fluoro lighting, packets of ciggies, TV with bad reception, girlie bar flyers, vibrating massage chair, pinafored waitresses and a buzzing bug zapper all add to the ambience. As does the elderly couple eating a plate of ham and salad in front of the tele, the loutish Brit backpackers with their order of fish and chips, and the multicultural cabbies, hankering for a fatty feed.

But, to the hamburger. Yes, it was a nice. The bread was firm and toasty (and not of that squidy sugar variety served at Mc*coughs*) and stuffed with a wonderfully grilled plain beef pattie, fried egg, super crisp bacon, lettuce and tomato. And therein my friends lies the problem. The tomato.

Who in their right mind would allow such travesty as the placement of a juicy slice of tomato on the BOTTOM of a burger? I was appalled. The tomato had released all of its fluid into base of bun, saturating it to the point of disintegration. You don’t need a friggin science or chefs degree for this one - Hamburger Making 101 - put lettuce on the bottom, or at the very least, the hamburger pattie. One must insure the integrity of the bun at all times. This is essential to a good burger experience.

EG decided on the steak sanga, which again was nicely served between two slices of sliced white bread. But as you can plainly see, the tomato is on the bottom. What the?

Whilst I very much enjoyed my Embassy Taxi Cafe dining experience (…nostalgic ambience like this is pure gold), I lament the sloppy hamburger assembly, which is a shame considering the rest of the ingredients were so darn good. Hopefully this was just an off day. I’ll be back to test their assembly techniques again

Just to let you know that links to some of my blog entries will be appearing on mcity.com.au, a new website dedicated to mapping some of the funkier (and not so funkier) eating/drinking establishments and events in Melbourne.

Swing by for a looksee.

It is not often you find a place that so completely delights and relaxes you. And I felt this way the minute I walked through the doors at Fo Guang Yuan - a Buddhist teahouse, temple and art gallery located smack bang in the Melbourne CBD.

Housed in a rather divine old building, Fo Guang Yuan does a short lunchtime trade on weekdays only. As is tradition with the Buddhist faith, only vegetarian cuisine is served. But meat eaters should not feel discouraged - soy textured protein based beef, chicken, pork, duck and seafood make for an interesting culinary adventure should you have not ventured this way before. They also serve the most wonderful range of vegetarian dumplings and steamed buns. I didn’t get to have any on this visit, but suffered order envy care of the table next to me. I will certainly order them next time.

EG and I ordered a revitalising tea blend which was served in a clear tea pot with cute little poppyseed shortbread cookies. The pot is bottomless as far as hot water is concerned, so it is probably a better option than single cups.

I decided on the chef’s lunch set, which rotates on a daily basis. Today was the Thai Panang curry with vegetarian beef and mixed vegetables ($8.50). This was my first soy beef experience, and I was intrigued. It looked somewhat like beef. It had the texture of beef. But it didn’t taste like beef. But then the curry sauce did such a great job of tantalising my tastebuds in other ways, that it really didn’t matter. Also in the bento was a lovely saute of cabbage and beansprouts (salty and smoky), and a fresh salad dressed with orange juice and a generous grind of ground black pepper. A bowl of steamed rice served to sop up all the lovely juices. Mmm…I was well satisfied with this feed.

EG went the stirfried flat rice noodle with shredded cabbage, carrot, tofu, vegetarian pork and bean sprouts ($9.50). It had a really good smoky wok flavour and was not too oily. Very tasty.

I only lament that this is on the far side of town from where I work. I want to go back, and soon!

If you like your parmas and schnitzels supersized, then Mrs.Palma’s is definitely the place for you. Not only does this restaurant/bar/pub/bottleshop specialise in a dizzying array of crumbed chicken/veal topped with copious amounts of cheese and other stodgy products, they also serve an impressive range of Victorian microbrews, such as Grand Ridge, Mildura, Holgate and Red Hill.

Frankly I couldn’t go the parma, despite it being the signature dish. So I decided on the traditional Weiner schnitzel topped with a piquant German relish. It was a tad on the oily side and absolutely gargantuan on the plate. But I must admit defeat - I was only half way through when I had to pull out in fear of rupturing an artery. And to be quite honest, it wasn’t an entirely pleasurable eating experience. It was just waaay too much - I felt defeated before I even picked up my fork.

Alas, the big burly blokes on my table practically inhaled their parmas, swilling a couple of microbrews to boot. This is perhaps a place for the lads, which was approximately 95% of the clientele on the day of my visit too.

Just ensure you make a booking, as this is one very popular spot for the ol’ parma and pot (on a Friday especially).

More cheap lunchtime fun in the Melbourne CBD.

It is funny how one’s perception changes. I always used to pity city workers, thinking them droll and automaton as they poured from the loop and straight into their office buildings. But I am now one of them, but damn if I ain’t half enjoying it! It is great to be so close to such a range of cafes, restaurants, bars and pubs. Am I hankering for Japanese? Well then I may head over to ITO or Don Don or Kenzan. Or do I want some Italian, Greek or Indian? The choices are endless.

On this day an old work colleague and I caught up and felt like something Asian flavoured, though the persuasion escaped us. But I had been to Sambal Kampung on a few occasions prior, and knew it would hit just the spot (it is Malaysian / Chinese). Basically, you can leave this place with a ridiculously full belly for under a tenner. And if you’re there with a mate, then you can share an entree, just like the curry vegetable samosas above (mmm…they were excellent! The pastry, as you can see, was flaky and oh so yummy).

I couldn’t resist the laksa - a lovely coconuty spicy broth filled with chicken, beancurd, fish balls, noodles and vegetables. It was tamed down in the chilli department, which sometimes isn’t a bad angle to take, as you can always add, but can never take away. Not the best laksa in Melbourne, but a damn good effort.

My companion went the beef rendang - which is just that. Beef. Nary a vegetable to be seen, these tender chunks of beef practically swam in their oily spicy coconuty sauce, which is best left behind if one suffers cholesterol problems. The side of steamed rice makes the meal feel somewhat healthy (well…we all try to kid ourselves now and then!).

Service is kind of quirky. The wait staff will leave the menu and your order slip on the table. You write the dish order number, name, and any variations (eg. spicy +++), on the bit of paper. The waiter then whisks it away to the kitchen for on the fly cooking.

Hmm…I wonder if that means I can order a low fat beef rendang next time?

I just love a good music bash, and the inagural labour day weekend, outdoor, camping Golden Plains Festival at Meredith Supernatural Amphitheatre didn’t disappoint. Now whilst I won’t divulge tales of drunkeness and debauchery (this is after all a food blog), I will ponder the sustenance consumed care of our fine friends, the Hare Krishnas.

I chose the banquet platter to ensure I got a taste of everything on offer (for blog research purposes of course ;-)). Included was a thick tasty potato and chickpea tomato-based curry, boiled basmati rice, huge cauliflower pakoras with a sourish tamarind sauce, kofta balls with tomato sauce and halava (semolina pudding). Not only did it taste wonderful, but it gave me the sustenance to dance well into the wee hours of the morn.

I just love the The Age Good Food Guide Restaurant Express lunch, which forms part of the fabulous Melbourne Food and Wine Festival. This concept allows impoverished foodies to dine at some of Melbourne’s better restaurants, and all for a reasonably cheap price. The deal - two courses plus a glass of wine for $30. And when you’re talking about the likes of Grossi Florentino or Bistro Vue, well, this is an absolute bargain.

Alas, I was not quick enough to score a booking at some of the more popular venues. But I’m so glad I didn’t as then I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to be so utterly delighted by Oyster Little Bourke.

Located at the top end of Little Bourke Street (which is fast becoming a rather nice restaurant precinct), this place oozes suaveness and high end dining, without being overly pretentious. The minute EG and I walked in we were warmly greeted and shown to our table. At no point were we treated like “cheap eaters”, which I must admit I have suffered at other establishments in previous years. Front of house were super slick and worked the room well - pouring water, refolding napkins, offering bread etc.

For entree I chose the salted cod and potato cake with endive and ravigote dressing. The cake itself was as big as a hockey puck, and crammed with flakes of cod and well seasoned mash. The sharp vinaigrette of capers, herbs and shallots added a nice contrast to the deep fried goodness. And so pretty on the plate to boot.

EG ordered the bucattini pasta with borlotti beans and sausage ragu, which he voted as the best plate of pasta he has ever had the pleasure to consume. Seriously, the dish was awesome. The sauce was so herbacious and packed full of flavour, I petitioned the chef for the ingredients. He sent back parsley, dill and tarragon, but I could also taste nutmeg in there too. But the sausage added so much flavour - a technique I will be investigating further.

Again, EG choose a winner of a dish in the pan fried salmon fillet with tomatoes and a lemon dressing. The salmon was cooked to perfection - deliciously crispy on the skin, and slightly pink in the centre. The little tomatoes were sheer works of art - from what I can gather it was a little tomato baked inside a deep fried layer of shallot/onion?!? I don’t know how they did it, but when you crunched down on the outer skin, your mouth was filled with the absolute essence of a warm oven roasted tomato. The dish was finished with deep fried basil and a lemon vinaigrette. Another rocking dish.

I decided on the roasted organic chicken with glazed celeriac and thyme sauce. I must admit I was a little disappointed with the lack of glazed celeriac (only a strip or two), which made the dish a trifle unbalanced. Basically it was just chicken on a plate, which in itself was bloody magnificent in taste and tenderness (…and the sauce was amazing). But it was just missing something.

For an extra $8 we decided to supplement our cheap eat with a rocket and parmesan salad. You can’t go too wrong here, and they didn’t. Fresh ingredients. Well dressed.

We both decided on the 2006 T’Gallant Pinot Noir as our wine of choice - a rather nice drop of ruby from the Mornington Peninsula. Also on offer was a T’Gallant Pinot Grigio.

This was my first visit to Oyster Little Bourke, and EG’s second (you can read his review here). But I think this is a venue that will become a firm favourite.

A rather unfortunate choice of product name, especially when this version comes chocolate flavoured.

For those of you who are interested, this is what your collon looks like on the inside. Scarily accurate isn’t it?

Melbourne is absolutely going off with a supurb range of events such as the Grand Prix, FINA World Swimming Championships, Avalon International Airshow and the Melbourne Food and Wine Festival (all in the same week!). You would think these would be enough to satiate our craving for things to do - but with a heap of tourists in town, the Thai Culture and Food Festival was just one more distraction to add to the list.

In it’s fourth year, the day is dedicated to celebrating all things Thai (as well as celebrating the 80th birthday of the much revered His Majesty The King of Thailand). Now due this blogs’ bent, here is my celebration of all things Thai food. And with over twenty food stalls, this wasn’t too hard to accomplish.

Our first nibble for the day was a container load of lightly spiced fish cakes, squashed down and deep fried. They were doused in a sweet/sour/hot dressing and flecked with fresh coriander leaves, sliced red onion and cucumber. This was nothing too out of the box though - I think you can pick up these ready-made style of fish cakes in most Asian grocers.

Next up was an artery clogging serve of spiced pork stew (mmm…see all the gelatinous fat and skin?). The flavour was heady with five spice, and it was so unbelievably sweet as to almost taste like a dessert. To be honest, I couldn’t go the fatty goodness, despite the fact it was amazingly tender. My arteries doth protested too much!

These guys were cooking various chicken bits at the Singha beer tent. I didn’t sample their very nice smelling fare - there was too much other stuff to try.

Next up was a dish I don’t exactly know what to call. The menu posted on the tent was entirely in Thai (with no translation). So we pointed to a sign (in the red box above) and just hoped for the best. And seriously, this was the BEST. It was like a thick hearty coconutty soup, packed to the hilt with spices and chilli. Egg noodles bathed in the thick broth around the bottom of the container, and crunchy fried noodles topped it. A dirty great big chicken drumstick was wedged in the depths, along with sliced celery, coriander, and an extra dollop of chilli paste. Can anyone translate what this dish is? It rocked.

We also sampled some rather divine little chive dumplings, which were seared on a large BBQ (these things were selling like hotcakes, pardon the pun). Obviously the dumplings had split, releasing their uber green insides into the light soy dressing. Mmm…very good.

Then it was time for dessert no.1, fruit chunk ice-cream.

Thankfully my ice cream didn’t have chunks, but then I’d hate to find a lump of taro in my cup! On a side note, I am loving the taro flavour at the moment. I think it beats vanilla!

Then it was time for dessert no.2, Thai coconut juice. Your little container comes frozen, with straw and ice pick attached. You unwrap and unlid, and then attack the block of sweet coconut ice - slurping when you get some juice, hacking when you don’t.

As you keep drilling down, you unearth (unice?) wonderful slivers of fresh coconut. Mmmm. Soooooo goooooood. This little cup kept me occupied for near on half an hour!

Then it was time for a bit of foodie celebrity spotting. Look…over there…Matt Preston, food writer for Epicure (The Age). He was heartily enjoying his container of food (I wasn’t close enough to see what he is eating). But kudos to him, I usually see him at these foodie type events.

Cafe Lalibela has been a Cheap Eats stalwart for many years now, taking out the 2007 “world food dish of the year” for it’s doro wat (pictured above, bottom left). The national dish of Ethiopia, this wat is basically a chicken stew marinated in herbs and spices, simmered with hardboiled eggs, berbere (Ethiopian hot pepper seasoning), garlic, onions and niter kebbeh (spiced clarified butter). Whilst the chicken meat itself was barely discernable (the bones were well present though), the taste was akin to a friggin bomb going off in your mouth. Seriously, this thing had some heat and some flavour!

The wat is served on the one plate to signify the bonds of friendship and loyalty. And there is no cutlery as such, you use the injera, which is a slightly tangy and spongy pancake, to pick up morsels of stew/salad. It is your plate, your utensil and your food all in one.

Along with the doro wat, we also had:

• meser wat - a stamina booster of lentil stew simmered in hot peppers, onions, garlic and spices.
• shiro wat - stew of powdered peas cooked with spices, berbere, garlic and onions.
• yataklt kilkil - carrots, potatoes and onions cooked with garlic and seasoned with turmeric and spices
• garden type salad

The place itself is bright and airy and strays from the usual “cramp as many in as possible” attitude. The service, well, it is a little “relaxed”. But don’t be put off by that, just allow a little extra time and a little extra patience for the experience. And if it’s your first time dining here, let them know so they can advise on how much to order, and even how to master the right hand eating technique!