Embassy Taxi Cafe
Phone: (03) 9328 1830
The Embassy Taxi Cafe is one of those places heralded as “the” spot in Melbourne to get a great burger. Operating 24 hours a day since 1962, the cafe has been feeding tired, hungry cabbies (and tired, hungry nightclubbers) in a setting somewhat akin to an old school fish and chip shop circa 1970. Linoleum flooring, vinyl seating, fluoro lighting, packets of ciggies, TV with bad reception, girlie bar flyers, vibrating massage chair, pinafored waitresses and a buzzing bug zapper all add to the ambience. As does the elderly couple eating a plate of ham and salad in front of the tele, the loutish Brit backpackers with their order of fish and chips, and the multicultural cabbies, hankering for a fatty feed.
But, to the hamburger. Yes, it was a nice. The bread was firm and toasty (and not of that squidy sugar variety served at Mc*coughs*) and stuffed with a wonderfully grilled plain beef pattie, fried egg, super crisp bacon, lettuce and tomato. And therein my friends lies the problem. The tomato.
Who in their right mind would allow such travesty as the placement of a juicy slice of tomato on the BOTTOM of a burger? I was appalled. The tomato had released all of its fluid into base of bun, saturating it to the point of disintegration. You don’t need a friggin science or chefs degree for this one - Hamburger Making 101 - put lettuce on the bottom, or at the very least, the hamburger pattie. One must insure the integrity of the bun at all times. This is essential to a good burger experience.
EG decided on the steak sanga, which again was nicely served between two slices of sliced white bread. But as you can plainly see, the tomato is on the bottom. What the?
Whilst I very much enjoyed my Embassy Taxi Cafe dining experience (…nostalgic ambience like this is pure gold), I lament the sloppy hamburger assembly, which is a shame considering the rest of the ingredients were so darn good. Hopefully this was just an off day. I’ll be back to test their assembly techniques again





April 1st, 2007 at 9:36 pm
Hi Mellie, If you find yourself in NZ, check out fergburger. Its quite a legend in Queenstown and used to operate out of a hole in the wall down an alley. Today, its a much bigger operation but still has our vote for the best burgers on da planet. http://www.ferburger.com
April 1st, 2007 at 11:44 pm
Will have to check this place out one evening, maybe this weekend.
Hey vince, some friends of mine are touring around and NZ and settling there, will have to let them know about ferburger and get their opinion
April 2nd, 2007 at 9:28 am
Is it me or is ketchup & tomatoes a weird combination? I just skip the tomato all together…
April 2nd, 2007 at 9:29 am
G’day Vince - hah, I have actually heard of the famous fergburger before (…and drooled over the website!). As much as I am a purist, I so want to try the “Holier than Thou” burger, which is, I must confess, made from tempura’d tofu! The Big Al’ sounds pretty droolworthy too
Hey anna - yah, certainly give it a go for some good ol’ grease stop nostalgia.
April 2nd, 2007 at 9:40 am
haha, my dad used to take me here for morning tea, when I would ride with him in his truck on school holidays. I used to LOVE the sausage sandwich with tomato sauce… oh the memories!!
April 2nd, 2007 at 10:13 am
I’m with the gourmand, get rid of the tomato altogether. But if you must have tomato, definitely have the lettuce one the base so the tomato doesn’t soak right through the bun. That’s the worse taste when the bun is falling apart and all soggy.
April 2nd, 2007 at 10:43 am
Hey the gourmand - see, I think there is room for both the ketchup and sliced tomato. The more lycopene I can get, the better
Hey there adski - what a beautiful memory to have
I’m glad the post evoked it for you. And I’m with you there - you can’t beat a good ol’ sauce and sausage sandwich (it was my favourite food as a kid!)
Hi thanh7580 - nooooo….the tomato must be kept at all costs! A hamburger is incomplete without it! But glad you agree on the soginess issue. Nothing worse than soggy bums
April 2nd, 2007 at 11:47 am
Hi Anna + Mellie
Yep, the big Al has a knack of showing up on many a snowboarding/ skiing adventure. It is pretty massive though.. so take care.