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“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” penned Charles Dickens.
“It was the best of breakfasts, it was the worst of breakfasts,” penned mellie.
Whereas Dickens was talking about the upheavals of the French Revolution, I was talking about the breakfast EG and I just ate at bills. But more on that in a tick.
bills is funky little place, located unassumingly (and unsigned) on a hilly corner in suburban Darlinghurst. It is o’ so very Sydney – timber floors and furnishings, white walls, stainless steel benches and glass. It certainly has a breezy and cool feel about it, which was echoed in the ambience and the floor staff (ahem).
EG went with the first signature of the venue – bills famous scrambled eggs. Now this is where we come to the best of breakfasts, as EG voted this the BEST scramble he has EVER had. So much so that he is now on a mission to perfect the technique, just so he can replicate the dish without having to go interstate 
. Tender to the extreme (well heck, a third of a cup cream to two eggs has got to make them taste darn fantastic), the eggs were curdled and folded ever so gently as opposed to the usual energetic scramble. To the side came two huge chunks of sour dough, practically a block of butter, oven roasted tomatoes, and bill-cured gravlax (which apparently was quite something as well).
I on the other hand, with my propensity for sweet breakfasts, decided on his other signature dish, ricotta hotcakes with honeycomb butter. Now this is where we come to the worst of breakfasts (much to my dismay). Perhaps my expectations were too high? All those reviews and blogs extolling the perfection that is the ricotta hotcake surely can’t be wrong? Well it all looked very nice when served up – three huge hotcakes, a halved banana and a slice of honeycomb butter. But the minute I cut into them I knew something was not right. They were hard – more scone-like than hotcake/pancake-like. And they were steroidal with baking soda – pumped up to an inch in thickness and tasting tangy. Thinking back I actually don’t know why I didn’t send them back (but I guess I was deliriously hungry after suffering those hills to bills in the hour long walk from Chinatown to Darlinghurst). Luckily they provided a jug of maple syrup on the side to act as lubrication, else I wouldn’t have got these dry suckers down. Are these prepared in advance and reheated? How could they get it so wrong?
Luckily the coffee was pretty good. It certainly helped me digest my meal. And I give them snaps for one heck of a breakfast in the scrambles. It was just a shame they couldn’t follow through on the other.
i had a similar experience at bills 2 with the corncakes – bloody awful.
very diasappointing.
Hmmm – perhaps the empire has got too big for its boots?!? There is something to be said for keeping things small as to oversee quality. When businesses/personalities like this take off, unfortunately the standard seems to decline in response. I seriously hope this is not the case.
Hey mellie,
I’ve been sitting on a review from bills for a while now, however I went to the Surry Hills version. It sucked big time. You’ve now inspired me to finally post my review!
BTW, As ‘Sydney’ as Bill’s is… that ‘one way’ sign in the photo brings back many more Sydney memories than Bill’s does!
Good on you Adski! No use holding back your thoughts. If something sucks, don’t be afraid to put it out there. Hmmm…I’m interested whether it was the hotcakes or the corn fritters (as per johanna above) that you tried?
Yes – the “one way” roads are certainly very annoying in Sydney. That and the timing of the traffic lights – they seemed to take forever!
hey mellie, the review is up there now, check it out if you get a minute. we actually had the same dishes as you! Such a shame… his cookbooks are great, but his cafe food is just rubbish!
Hey again adski – I checked out your review, and uh huh, we certainly concur on many points! I forgot to mention in my entry that my hotcakes, despite being hotscones, were actually coldcakes, or coldscones
And to prove mine were cold, look at the slice of honeycomb butter. It hadn’t even melted!!
I think the temperature of EG’s eggs were okay though, and his bread wasn’t cut as thick. But the bacon on your plate looked absolutely charry. Yes, I do like mine well done and crispy – but there is a point where crispy becomes charcoal. Eww.
Bad Luck on the hotcakes, I actually made these over Easter myself http://viciousange.blogspot.com/2007/04/ricotta-hotcakes-with-honeycomb-butter.html & they were delicious & not really that difficult. I also had the batter sitting in the fridge for a while too so its a shame they turned something so simple into such a disaster. I love Bills breakfast & have always looked forward to getting to Sydney to try out the ‘real’ thing – maybe thats not such a good idea & I should just stick to the books!
Hi there ange – I did see your ricotta hotcakes on your blog the other day, and they looked incredibly yummy! And so much better than the ones I had at bills too
It appears to be a rather simple recipe, but where they go wrong is making them in advance (which is my guess). You obviously can’t beat freshly made batter or frying them up to order.
Breaking News: Just got back to work having taken clients to breakfast at sweethearts ( of which i have been a devotee for 14 years) and i would like to report that the banana and pecan pancakes with hazelnut butter and maple syrup were TO DIE FOR.
Get down there. And if you’re not uf for something sweet, you must have the chilli eggs with a roesti! HURRY!!!!!
Ooooh johanna – that just sounds WAY too tempting. Pecan pancakes with hazelnut butter and maple syrup?!? Yum!
It reminds me of a place I went to, also in Sydney: Rustic, I think it was called. Sometimes they were did well, and sometimes just missed it completely.
Based on what I’ve read, I think I’ll give bills a miss
I have my disapppointment with Bill as well. It is overrated too much in my opinion!
Thats a shame. Each time I am at Bills I end up ordering the toasted muesli. Its not the most exciting choice but it is delicious and I’ve always been a bit dissapointed in the breakfasts. My pick for the best muesli in Melbourne is Mart in Middle Park. As a sidenote (read brag) I sat next to Bill, his wife and daughters for lunch one day in Dalesford last winter and they are lovely people.
Hiya anna (btw – you must change your blog profile photo to reflect your new world-shave-for-a-day hairdo
) – I would give bills another go, if just for the eggs and the coffee 
Hey anh – hmm, surely they can’t be crapping it up at lunch time too?!?
G’day bb – well, you can’t go too wrong with toasted muesli
And I’m with you, I adore Mart 130. Their bircher and corn cakes (not at the same time mind you) are particular favourites. Ooooh…you name dropper you…actually, the Grangers do come across as fairly nice people on the tele. Macleans happy even 
Sorry to hear that you had a sour time at Bills. I have been there twice and was never really blown away with the food. But I still recommend their eggs to interstate visitors.
Although, my experince was never as bad as yours. I got the hotcakes and I have to admit mine did come hot and fluffy. So I couldn’t complain there. And the eggs and coffee were excellent.
If you ever come back to Sydney, try breakfast at Brasserie Bread. It’s a bit of a drive from the city (it’s near the airport) but it’s less pretentious and their sourdough pancakes with honeycomb cream is ten times better.
Thanks for that jenjen – yes, whilst my hotcakes were a lil ordinary, EG’s scrambles rocked. So it was a half and half experience.
Next time I’m up your side of town I will definitely pop by Brasserie Bread. Sourdough pancakes and honeycomb cream sounds just divine!
I too had the hotcakes at bills a few years ago. i was so excited. the first 2.5 were good, though a tad too sweet but it was all ruined by the next bite. uncooked batter in the middle. was very disapointed and this overcame all the other yummy sensations from earlier. the only good thing was i mentioned it to them, just to let them knw, and they didn’t charge me for them. my friend had the lentil, beetroot and goats cheese salad and that was amazing. so i guess i just made a bad choice..
Hi there rochellerochelle – see, I’m just kicking myself now that I didn’t say something at the time. EG chose very well with the scrambles, but looks like I lucked out too.
Eww…batter-y pancakes aren’t very palatable either. How can they get this rather simple dish so wrong?