Hofbrauhaus

18-24 Market Lane, Melbourne
Telephone 03 9663 3361

A recent post by Thanh over at I Eat Therefore I Am reminded me of an entry that has been sitting in my drafts since March (...such is the state of my drafts!). So I thought I would add my two cents.

Established in 1968, Hofbrauhaus is where you want to go if you have a hankering for slap dancing, yodeling and stodgy Bavarian fare. There is also beer, which you may very well need once the knee-slapping and live band starts up (is this what hell is like?). Despite that, it is an "experience" if one has a penchant for such things.

There is a lot of meat on this menu - schnitzels, hocks, meatloafs, bratwursts, frankfurters, krainers, debreciners, goulash, kassler, and stews. Then there are potatoes and sauerkraut. You get the drift. We spied the house special pork hock (which Thanh mentioned/ate in his post), and we were seriously scared. It quivered gelatiniously on the plate, the size of a football. That was one chunk of meat!

EG went the bratwurst, or beef sausage, which was served as a pair over a pile of buttery (!)mash and sauerkraut ($23.90). It wasn't quite what he expected - the sausages were a little on the bland side, which was quite surprising considering the Bavarians are known for their wurst (well hey, they do boast over 1500 types of the buggers). The sausages and mash also sat in a pool of salty water, which unfortunately wasn't sauce-like or flavoursome at all.

I couldn't go past the crumbed new age pork schnitzel served with salad and mash ($26.50). Funnily enough, this behemouth is the small version (it also comes in a giant version for $29.50). The schnitzel wasn't too bad - it was tender and nicely crumbed, although there was just a little too much of it. The sprinkle of chopped parsley on both dishes was also an interesting retro touch ;-).

The Stork Hotel

504 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne
Phone: 03 9663 6237

In case you thought I was somewhat smitten with Japanese restaurants of late, here is an entry that will throw that assumption right out the window (but stay tuned, because there is one more Japanese review coming up shortly ;-)).

The Stork Hotel has been gracing the corner of Elizabeth and Therry Streets since 1852. Back in the day when people rode horses rather than cars, it used to be the last pub on the dusty track to Ballarat, a burgeoning goldmining town.

It now sits rather colourfully on the corner across the road from the Queen Victoria Market. It is part backpackers, part cafe, and wholly old time traditional pub that still sports its fair share of local clientele. And yay - not a taberet machine in sight!

What I do find rather unusual about the Stork is the menu. It straddles traditional pub fare (think parma, burgers and steak), but also ventures into some South American items. It may not be wholly traditional, but it is still interesting to find in a good ol' Aussie pub.

EG went the chacarero, a traditional Chilean sandwich made with grilled steak, steamed green beans, tomato and mayonnaise. It came in a burger bun with a side serve of crunchy chips cooked in fresh oil (in fact, some of the best chips we've eaten in quite some time). The steak was incredibly juicy, spurting out with each massive mouthful.

I went the lomito, another traditional Chilean sandwich of pork and mashed avocado. The loin pork chop had been nicely caramalised on the grill with a generous sprinkle of seasoning. It was perhaps too much pork for my liking, but those who are so inclined would find it absolutely mouthwatering.

I really like the Stork - the corner position across from the market is a great spot to sit in the sun with a brew (or two) and watch the passing parade. It has cheap beer and cheap food (though it won't win any hats), and is kind of like slipping on a pair of ol' comfortable duds - you won't feel uncomfortable in here.

Hotel Spencer

475 Spencer Street, West Melbourne
Phone 03 9329 5111

West Melbourne doesn't often come on the radar for being a destination for great places to eat. In fact it is a rather quiet place out of business hours, the only buzz coming from the comings and going at MAP or the Embassy Taxi Cafe. Which in fact was the reason for our visit to Hotel Spencer - we had walked past it on our way to the Embassy not long back, and after checking it out in the Cheap Eats/Good Food Guide, thought a return journey to try out the fare was in order.

We decided to eat it in the bar (as opposed to the slightly more expensive, yet still very reasonably priced dining room). Besides, we wanted to be close to the bar for some freshly pulled beer, and Bert Newton's 20 to 1 was also providing some mild amusement on the tele.

The pub is rather old school, funked up in a dashing shade of burnt orange. But it is comfortable - a nice long bar to prop your elbows on, a good range of brews (and microbrews) on tap, big chunky wooden furniture, requisite bunch of lads living it up at the counter, and a bar menu that would satisfy both the tradie and gourmand in us all.

I couldn't go past the braised beef, mushroom and guinness pie with mashed potato and sauteed greens. This is classic pub fare, and it sure didn't disappoint. The beef was slow cooked and wonderfully tender, and I could actually taste the earthiness of the guinness and the mushrooms in the gravy. The pastry lid was crisp and flaky, and the mash a good balance of potato and milk/butter (i.e. it wasn't too rich). And check out the sauteed greens - firm peas, tender crisp broccoli and green beans. A nice hit of chlorophyll for the otherwise comfort foodish meal.

EG went the other classic, bangers and mash - or to be more precise, grilled snags with mash, peas and gravy. Three thick tasty sausages were straddled across a generous dollop of mashed potato, the whole lot liberally doused in a brown oniony gravy. It certainly satisfied his craving for salsiccia (and then some!).

The servings are absolutely HUGE - value for money can't be beat. And we were actually quite impressed with the variety of the other menu options on offer, such as a pork, veal and pistachio nut terrine, a corned girello on mash or an Asian braised pork belly. Both of us can't wait to get back to try some of these offerings.

A hearty (and non-inebriated) thumbs up.

Mrs.Palma's

25 Little Bourke Street, Melbourne
Telephone: 03 9639 2269

If you like your parmas and schnitzels supersized, then Mrs.Palma's is definitely the place for you. Not only does this restaurant/bar/pub/bottleshop specialise in a dizzying array of crumbed chicken/veal topped with copious amounts of cheese and other stodgy products, they also serve an impressive range of Victorian microbrews, such as Grand Ridge, Mildura, Holgate and Red Hill.

Frankly I couldn't go the parma, despite it being the signature dish. So I decided on the traditional Weiner schnitzel topped with a piquant German relish. It was a tad on the oily side and absolutely gargantuan on the plate. But I must admit defeat - I was only half way through when I had to pull out in fear of rupturing an artery. And to be quite honest, it wasn't an entirely pleasurable eating experience. It was just waaay too much - I felt defeated before I even picked up my fork.

Alas, the big burly blokes on my table practically inhaled their parmas, swilling a couple of microbrews to boot. This is perhaps a place for the lads, which was approximately 95% of the clientele on the day of my visit too.

Just ensure you make a booking, as this is one very popular spot for the ol' parma and pot (on a Friday especially).

Mildura Brewery

20 Langton Avenue, Mildura (Victoria)
+613 5022 2988

A trip to Mildura is not complete without a visit to the Mildura Brewery. Established in 2004 by Don Carrazza (of Mildura Grand Hotel fame), the microbrewery is housed in the old Astor Theatre, right next door to the Grand. The refurbed Brewery is a rather fine looking establishment. Whilst retaining many of the original art deco features, it has been updated in a very smart/slick way. Lots of polished steel, shiny black finishes, dark wood and natural stone work in good combination. What I love best are the three huge stainless steel brewing vats and bottling line you are privy to at the back of the space. It is nice to kick back with a bevy and appreciate how it actually came to be.

EG and I decided on the Tasting Tray (pictured above and half gone by the time I got the camera out). Ordinarily the brewery produces four standard beers; Mallee Bull, Murray Honey Wheat, Desert Premium Lager and Sun Light. But the Brewery also likes to experiment, and the Beer of the Month keeps things interesting. So on our tray we also got to sample the standard four plus Storm Cloudy Ale and the Oktoberfest.

As far as tasting goes - well I think there is a beer there that would cater for most palates. Most of them are fairly light in the hops department though. But they do get a lil' heavy in some brews - just nothing too dark or stouty.

My vote went to the Murray Honey Wheat beer, which I figure is a cross between a Hoegaarden and a Beez Neez. It had an amazingly clean/crisp quality with a heady honey aroma. It was light on in the malt - and apparently appeals to "the younger crowd, women of all ages and those with a sweet tooth". Got it in three :-)

EG loved the Storm Cloudy Ale, which was surprisingly citrusy and hoppy. On tap it really was a cloudy storm - quite opaque. But it loses this in the transfer to the bottle. This one is certainly a masculine type beer, being both full bodied and full-on.

The Brewery also does lunch and dinner Tuesday to Sundays. All your usual pub fare is available, although it is probably one step better than regular pub grub. But think chicken parma, beef burger, salt and pepper calamari using qual ingredients etc. We did dine late on a Sunday (didn't take a photo though), and I can attest that the calamari was lip smackingly good. EG went the burger, which looked non too shabby either.